148. Distance In a Relationship?

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everybody.

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Welcome back to the

elemental ed and podcast.

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Thank you all so much for tuning in today.

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This is your host, Evan Roberts.

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And on this show, my goal is to

break down complex health topics

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from a holistic perspective.

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And at the end of every episode, I

also try to leave you with a little

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breakdown of the episode, as well as

with some actionable steps that you can.

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Actually use and apply to your life so

that you can take all of the knowledge and

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information contained in these episodes

and apply them to your life today.

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After hearing this episode,

because after all knowledge is

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power, but it's when we apply the

knowledge that it becomes wisdom.

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And that is the goal here.

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We want to actually use the information

contained in these episodes.

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And on today's episode, we're actually

going to discover and discuss a topic.

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That.

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It's something I've never really

spoken about on this podcast?

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Um, maybe a little bit in a few

episodes here and there, but

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never in-depth like on this one.

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So.

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For today's episode.

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We are going to be talking about

relationships and more specifically

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distance in a relationship.

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So.

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Have any of you been in a long distance

relationship if you have, how was it?

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Did you enjoy it?

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Uh, many people I know, do not

typically enjoy long distance

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relationships for a good reason.

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Or are you on the other side of that coin,

do you typically spend all day, every day

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with your significant other, your partner?

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Uh, your loved one, whatever it may be.

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If you are like most people

it's probably the latter.

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I think that's definitely

the more common one.

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And for myself personally,

that definitely is the case.

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So I'm not going to get super

deep into the weeds of my

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relationship on this episode today.

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But to just give you a

quick little breakdown.

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I have been in a relationship

with my fiance, Ashley for

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11 years as of this month.

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So kudos to that happy to be able to

spend that time and share that landmark

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with someone that's so special and has

really been just a pivotable pivotal

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person in my life, and really grateful

to be able to share that with Ashley.

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So thank you very much, Ashley.

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If you're listening to the

episode, love you so much.

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But nonetheless, we haven't spent

a ton of time together, right?

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I mean, obviously being together

for 11 years, you're going to

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spend a lot of time together.

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And I would even argue that we have

probably spent more time together

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than the average relationship.

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A lot of our relationship has been,

you know, going through college

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and, you know, With being in school,

we were living together and even

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taking a lot of the same classes

together, uh, because we had the same.

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Uh, focus in our college.

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So we spent a ton of time together.

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And to me that is really awesome because I

know that I can spend all day with Ashley.

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And even if we get on each other's

nerves, we're still going to enjoy

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each other's presence and be able to

work through those issues, which is

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obviously very crucial for a relationship.

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But one thing that we do

not experience very often is

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distance in our relationship.

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So for the very first time, about a month

ago, Ashley left for about two weeks to

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visit a family member out of the country.

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And so I was here home alone by

myself for literally the first

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time in a very, very long time.

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And I found it very interesting

in terms of what I experienced

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and noticed in the time alone.

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So for me personally, it was a

little bit of a bitter sweet type

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deal of course, was going to Ms.

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Ashley very much, but it was also kind

of cool for me to have just a moment to

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myself where, you know, I pretty much

could do whatever the heck I wanted

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to do, watch whatever show I wanted to

watch, which for the most part actually,

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and I do watch most of the same.

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Uh, shows, but I do have a couple

episodes here and there of different

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things that I do enjoy personally.

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So it was a really cool opportunity for

us to have a little bit of time apart.

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And in my personal opinion, it

was actually very beneficial.

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Now the reason I found it very

beneficial is for, for different reasons.

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And these are going to be the big

takeaways that I had with Ashley

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being gone and ultimately the bulk

of today's episode and why I think

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that distance is actually good

to a degree in a relationship.

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Right.

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Um, I'm putting a little asterisk

there because I think to a

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degree is very important to say.

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Uh, too much distance could also

have a negative effect in my opinion.

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But with having just this two weeks

away, I definitely noticed a few things.

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With the first one being that I

actually found a lot more respect

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in my time away from Ashley.

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Then in my day-to-day when

I just see her all the time.

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Uh, coming home to the house and knowing

that I not only had to cook, but I also

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had to clean and I had to make the bed

and I had to do, do all this stuff that

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a lot of the times Ashley would do, uh,

without me even asking her to do it.

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And it's the little things that start

to add up over time where you realize

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holy cow, there is a lot of stuff that,

you know, your partner is doing for you,

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even if you don't notice it on the daily.

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And it doesn't even have to

be physical things, right.

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It could even be just.

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Coming home and having a nice conversation

with someone that is huge and.

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Not even just having a conversation, but

actually coming home to a house with the

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presence of another being in that room.

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There were many times where

I came home and it was wild

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to be in an empty apartment.

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For me, that is really wild.

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I don't normally experience that at

least not for a long period of time.

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Uh, so I actually really found a deep

respect for Ashley and all that she does.

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And also just being able to have

someone to share time and presence

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with, I found that those were some

really key things that I really

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enjoyed when having her back.

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Now I also think that it really

makes you miss your partner.

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So when you live with someone for

such a long time and you spend so

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much time together, Of course, you.

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Share everything with them

pretty much you've come home

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from work or whatever it may be.

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And you go straight into the conversation.

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And most of the time there's

really not a whole lot.

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That is new.

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That gives you the opportunity to

share a cool conversation with them.

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Of course, if something crazy did happen

at work, then yes, you're going to have

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a nice little conversation there, but a

lot of the times it's just kind of, you

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know, catching up on the last eight hours.

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Right.

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There's not a whole lot

that could have happened.

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So having a little bit

of time apart also just.

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Opened up more avenues in terms of

conversations, we had new things

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that we could talk about and really

just gave me the opportunity to

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miss her and miss being around her.

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. Also it made the very first

week of her coming back.

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Very, very enjoyable.

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I would say.

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Now, of course the, not just the first

week, you know, many weeks after her

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was still enjoyable, but that very first

week was very special because for me.

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I hadn't seen her in two weeks and it

was really cool to be able to reconnect

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and, you know, share not only the

emotional and, uh, you know, loving

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aspect of a relationship together.

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But it was also just really cool

to be able to catch up on stuff.

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And to, I dunno, it felt like having

a friend that was gone for so long and

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you're finally able to catch up and, and,

you know, kind of be in that mode of.

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Being attentive to that person

and everything that they have to

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say, which is something I noticed.

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And that is, I was , really present

with that entire first week with Ashley.

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A lot of the times when I come home,

I have so many different things going

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on in my mind that it's hard for me

to actually be completely present with

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Ashley when I come home and she's asking

me how the day was and blah, blah, blah.

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But in this first week

it felt effortless too.

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Literally just be completely

encompassed in wanting to know how

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she's doing and just catching up.

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So it really added a level of presence

to our time together, which I thought was

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valuable and something that I think we

should try to apply to all of our lives

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with all of the loved ones in our lives.

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It doesn't have to just be, uh, obviously

your, your, uh, per the person you're

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in a relationship with, but it could

also be with friends and family.

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Right.

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I think we should really value

the time that we do have together

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because of course it is always.

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Finite.

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We never know how much time

we have with each other.

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So it's very important that when

we are together, we are very

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present with our time together.

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Now last but not least.

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Having time alone also just gave

me this opportunity to do whatever

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the heck I wanted to do, which I

think is actually very important.

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Um, a lot of the times in

relationships, you can share so much

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with each other, which is amazing.

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I think it's so important to have

things that you do together so that

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you can grow together and really

develop the relationship through

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activities that you do together.

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However, I think it's also very important

to understand that, that we are all

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unique individuals and we're going.

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To have differences from each

other, regardless of how small

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they might be or absolutely big

and different, they might be.

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. So when I was home alone, it was

just this opportunity for me to.

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Watch the shows that, you know, I

probably wouldn't watch with Ashley or,

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it also allowed me to just kind

of be lost in thought a little

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bit more than I normally would be.

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Uh, when I'm here at the house with

Ashley, of course, I'm going to engage

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in conversation, but when you are

here, home alone, You are going to

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be in your mind a little bit more.

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And so I was able to think more

and kind of use my imagination, be

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bored more than I normally would be.

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And I know this might not sound that

important, but it actually was very nice

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for me to just have this time where it

was idle and I didn't have to do anything.

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I could just kind of hang out and.

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Enjoy my time alone.

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Uh, especially because I knew

it wasn't going to be forever.

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And so that's it.

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That is going to be the four

biggest takeaways that I had in

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having distance in a relationship.

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And.

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Uh, like I said, this comes

with an asterisk, right?

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We don't want to have too much

distance from our partners.

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Uh, I think that can also

be to a degree unhealthy.

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So.

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From my personal experience and

my take away from this whole, uh,

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distance, uh, for those two weeks.

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Was that having a little bit of

distance every now and again could be

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a healthy thing and can actually help

you to appreciate your partner more.

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So if you spend a ton of time

with your partner , I highly

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recommend that you and your partner.

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Maybe take a day or two even where

you just spend them alone and not

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with, uh, each other and maybe not

even with anybody else, literally

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just a day alone by yourself to go do.

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Whatever it is that you want to do.

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Go grab a coffee, go grab a bite to

eat, go to the beach, go on a hike,

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whatever the heck it is that you

want to do, but just do something

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on your own and not with anyone.

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And personally, I think you'll find a

lot of enjoyment out of it, but you'll

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also find a greater appreciation for your

partner when you do reconnect with them.

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So once again, these four big

takeaways to just kind of give you a

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breakdown of the episode was for one,

I found more respect for my partner.

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Number two, I really missed Ashley.

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When she finally came back,

I was so happy to see her.

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Uh, number three was that first week

when she came back was incredibly

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enjoyable because I was able to

reconnect and be fully present

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with Ashley when she was back.

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And then the last but not least.

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Was that it gave me some free

time and alone time that I

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literally almost never, ever have.

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And I was able to just literally be by

myself with my thoughts, which might

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sound a little weird and lonely at times,

but it was actually really refreshing to

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have just a little break here and there.

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So those are going to be

the four major takeaways.

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Let me know what you

think of this episode.

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Let me know if you want to

hear more about relationships.

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I don't typically talk about

my relationship personally.

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Relationship health is very

important to emotional health and

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really just our overall wellbeing.

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So if this is something you want

to hear more about, feel free to

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go ahead and leave me a message

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you really enjoyed this episode.

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And until next time, y'all I

hope you enjoyed this episode.

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And for all of you who have listened to

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the motto, which is do everything with

good intentions and connect your elements.

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Thank you all so much for tuning

into this episode as always.

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And I look forward to

seeing you on the next one.

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Peace.